I Am Your Boss!
I was 19 when I faced the hardest leadership lesson of my life—and it changed how I lead forever
Fresh out of school, brimming with confidence, I started my career as an insurance salesman. Things went well. So well, in fact, that within a short time, my manager made me a sales manager—leading a team of 13 salesmen. I was proud. My ego? Through the roof.
But here’s the twist: Six months later, I had no team. None. Every single person either requested a transfer or outright resigned. When my manager called me in to explain why, I was expecting excuses—bad luck, difficult personalities, maybe even something beyond my control.
Instead, I got hit with the truth, like a punch to the gut: “You’re the problem.”
I was stunned. Devastated. In denial. How could I, the top performer, be the problem? I tried to defend myself, but deep down, I knew. I knew that competing with my team instead of leading them wasn’t working. I knew I was trying to prove I was the best instead of helping them be the best.
My manager didn’t give up on me. He sat me down and said something that changed my life forever: “You can’t manage by competing with your team. Your job is to coach and encourage them to be better than you.”
He didn’t just give me advice—he gave me a lifeline. He put me on a program that we called, “I am nothing, and you are everything.” It wasn’t about self-deprecation; it was about shifting my focus from me to them.
Three lessons from that time have stuck with me ever since:
Control your ego. Leadership isn’t about proving yourself—it’s about improving others.
Stop competing. Start supporting. When your team wins, you win.
Never ask others to do what you aren’t prepared to do. Lead by example, or don’t lead at all.
That experience shaped not just my career but my life. I’m 71 now and still working, and those lessons guide my life.
Ego, competition, and empty orders don’t build great teams—humility, support, and integrity do.
Sometimes the hardest lessons are the ones that leave the deepest marks. But those are the ones worth keeping.
By Mark Deavall
If you would like to talk to me, please call me on +2782 465 5481 or email me on markd@markdeavall.com
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