Discipline is a minefield!
23 June 2025
Whether we’re talking about managing a team, raising kids, or coaching someone, knowing when to discipline and when to take another approach can make things better or worse!
Discipline works best when it’s about correction, not punishment. It should be about helping someone get back on track, not making them feel worse.
So, when is it advisable to discipline? I’d say it’s when someone knows what’s expected, but for whatever reason, they’ve chosen not to meet that expectation.
Maybe it’s about accountability—like in a workplace situation where deadlines are repeatedly ignored, despite clear guidance and reminders. In those cases, discipline isn’t about being harsh; it’s about setting a boundary and reinforcing expectations. It shows that actions have consequences, and it’s important for maintaining fairness and respect among everyone involved.
But here’s where it gets interesting—sometimes, discipline isn’t the best tool. Think about situations where someone’s behaviour comes from a lack of understanding, skill, or confidence. In those cases, an alternative approach like coaching or mentoring is usually more effective. If someone genuinely doesn’t know how to do something or is overwhelmed, disciplining them won’t solve the root problem. What they need is support, guidance, and maybe even some encouragement.
Discipline is however, definitely not the answer when emotions are running high. Have you ever tried disciplining someone who’s upset or defensive? It usually doesn’t go well. In those moments, it’s better to focus on de-escalating the situation first. Have a calm conversation later, when both parties can actually hear each other. That way you’re more likely to reach a productive outcome rather than just fueling more tension.
It really boils down to this: discipline should be about improving behaviour and reinforcing trust, not about asserting power.
When people feel understood and respected, they’re far more likely to respond positively—whether you’re holding them accountable or guiding them through something.
It’s all about balance. Sometimes, what people need isn’t a hard line—it’s a helping hand. Knowing which approach to take is where real leadership comes in.
Written by Mark Deavall
If you would like to talk to me, please call me on +2782 465 5481 or email me on markd@markdeavall.com
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