Humorous Musings on Management

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I have been writing on the subject of management for many years now, and at times have been challenging, controversial and downright “in your face”. Funnily enough, you all keep reading and responding to my articles, so I must be doing something right!

 

So I thought that as an opener for this year, I would reminisce a little on some of the more lighthearted management moments that I have experienced during the last few years.

 

On a training course for supervisors in Durban, I had about 15 people in the room. We were busy discussing the concept of using delegation as an opportunity to grow people and using the coaching process, which we had just covered, to facilitate this process. One of the delegates, we’ll call him Frank, was shaking his head vehemently and stating rather loudly that “people must just do what I tell them to do! I don’t have time for all this delegating and coaching stuff!” One of the other delegates, we’ll call him Peter, had been very quiet during this session. He looked up under his eyebrows at me and said,” don’t take notice of Frank. He’s run out of Kellogg’s”. I looked at him quizzically, “he never got it all this morning” Peter explained!

 

Back in 2008, one of my clients was planning on embarking on a restructuring program, and invited me to speak at the “kick-off” meeting to be held in their board room. I told them the following story….”The American and the Japanese corporate offices for a large multi-national corporation decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance.

 

On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommended corrective action.

 

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.

 

After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team.

 

So, as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive”.

 

The next year, the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American office laid-off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem”. The reason that I told them the story was to caution them as to how they go about the restructuring program.

 

Over lunch a little later, one of the senior executives leaned over to the group CEO and whispered to him, “We need one of those American consulting firms!”

 

A client of mine manufactures cable for the electricity and telecommunication industries. They were having a technical problem with one of the machines, and there was frenetic activity going on in order to bring the machine, as they put it, “back on line”. Part of the procedure, I was told, is to pull all the damaged raw material out of the front of the machine. This is a manual job requiring the brute strength of four or five burly people. These people were duly assembled and started pulling. We were sitting in the board room and heard the following words bellowing forth from the Foreman – “Kom manne, trek daardie draad!” The English translation is, “Come men, pull that wire!” Needless to say we all collapsed with mirth while the MD ran out to the plant to quieten the Foreman.

 

One of my clients was considering a few applications from employees to be transferred to other departments. The Human Resources Director had gone through the various motivations and shortlisted a few people. I was then asked to interview these people. And so it happened that I was chatting with a person that had applied for a position as a debtor’s clerk. This person’s current job was that of invoicing clerk.

 

The conversation went something like this, and I swear every word is true:

 

Me: “Do you know what a debtor’s clerk does?”

Applicant: “Yes” then silence

Me: “So?”

Applicant: “So what?” Looking at me quizzically

Me: “What does a debtor’s clerk do?”

Applicant: “ Oh! They collect money from people that owe the company money”

Me: “That’s right!” Now do you know what a debtor’s book is?”

Applicant: “Yes” once again silence

Me: “So?”

Applicant: “So what?” Once again eyeing me as if I’m a little off my rocker

Me: “What is a debtor’s book?

Applicant: “Oh! It’s one you buy at the CNA”

Me: “Mmmmmmm. Ok, one last question. What is an age analysis?” Note, I did NOT ask if the person knew what an age analysis is! I wasn’t going to make that mistake again!

Applicant: “It’s an analysis done by HR to see how old everyone in the company is”

 

One wonders as to the short-listing criteria used!

 

Mark Deavall

 

If you would like to talk to me, please call me on +2782 465 5481 or email me on markd@markdeavall.com

 

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